As we grow old in life, we end up losing things. We only realize it once they are taken away from us. Last one year has been a deciding phase in my life in too many perspectives. I have loved and lost and lost heavily. I shattered my soul in ways that I can’t even begin to start picking up the pieces. I have hurt people in ways that I can only pray and hope that they have the heart to forgive me sometime in their lifetime. I have brought in tears in eyes of the people who loved me the most and I just chased them away. It hurts to even think that something of this sort has taken place, we all witness such things happening to others and never realize that one day it could be us.
The question we ask all the time is “why me” & “what did I do wrong”. We all know what went wrong it just too hard to point a finger at oneself. I am just dying inside to see such a state of events but then who is to be blamed but me; I wish things were different, I wish I had someone I could call mine, someone who holds me close to her and tells me how madly she loves me, someone who kisses me and tells me how important I am in her life, someone who holds my hand and tells me I am her world. I had someone like that, someone so close to my heart that I could not see beyond her, now when she is gone I can’t see anything. Where would you go and who would you turn to if the only person who stops you from crying makes you cry?
It’s strange to find hope at such unexpected avenues that you are astounded by the response you get. I have had people who have just held on to me and not let me fall down. They offered me a shoulder to cry on and I needed that. I was told that I am amazing, humble, generous, funny and full of life, I was given example of my mom who is true image of being strong and fight for survival and never ever give up. They have called me, messaged me, emailed me and met me to make sure that their friend or brother was not alone. I still find myself alone because once they are gone, they start living their life and I am still gazing at horizon wondering that does it ever meet?
I hope for sunshine, I hope for rain, I hope for smile, I hope for love and I hope to live once again.
I am clinging on to hope and hope is a good thing and remember good thing never dies. Hope floats!
Follow by Email
