Time: 11:21pm, Date: December 7, 2009, Place: Alone in my Room, watching TV.
It is actually very difficult to describe feelings associated to word “Job”. I have been working for over 14 years now. I have done jobs that people say are “Odd” but for me they were a source of any and all learning that I carry with me as I grow old and have had success till now. Over the years I have sold stuff going door to door, worked at a gas station, sold movie tickets, worked as an usher, waited on tables, taken calls as an agent, handled team, motivated people, moved up in life.
It is a funny thing about being employed and that too at a power position. How people’s perspective change when you are affecting them directly or indirectly and how it changes when it stops. I have been there for too long and have seen it from very close quarters, I don’t know whether to call it fortunate or unfortunate but I have seen it too many times that I clearly know how it feels and what it takes to be there.
It’s hard to differentiate when people portray pink picture in front of you if that is because of you or the seat you’re sitting on. Usually it’s the seat but not to take away the credit that during such times and places you might tumble across a genuine person who is there to stay in your life with or without you having that job. I have been lucky to have a couple of friends who have I over the years have only cherished and thanked god for bringing them into my life.
It takes toll on you when you are made to believe that you are nothing, when no one calls you, when you are out of meetings, when no one has time for you to go for a smoke or a drink. When people don’t return calls, when “busy” is the word you get to hear time and again. It is disheartening to see such state of affairs but that where the term “Reality Bites” fits like a glove.
It’s very hard to keep yourself sane when things don’t go right especially financially, you need people around you who need to do only one thing and one thing only and that is to tell you that they love you and all will be well. My dilemma is for how long one can hear that, I guess that there is no choice but to keep listening to it till things fall into place. It’s easy to lose your sanity, to think straight in such scenarios, to not be able to find an answer to the questions “Why me?”
Well have said goodbye many times to such adulation, respect, praise, so called friends and a great boss, which in a nutshell means “Nothing”, here is waiting for another ride to move up and rise from the ground, have done it in the past and will keep doing it till I can stand.